Is it wrong to hug someone? Earlier this week, I was having a heart-to-heart conversation with close friends Ross and Jennie, when I was criticised for hugging people “too much”. I do appreciate their honesty. But, I have to say I was hurt by this comment. How can you hug someone “too much”?
You see, my family have always been close. I’ve been brought up to hug people to show care and affection. People haven’t minded until now. I didn’t realise people could feel uncomfortable by my actions.
Remember the school radio team I joined earlier this year? There are ten members in it. I was shocked to learn that the only people who wanted me there were Ross and Jennie. The others just “hate me with a passion!” It’s nice to know who my real friends are!
Right now, I feel REALLY mad because I don’t know why they dislike me. I know that we can’t get along with everyone we meet, but I try to. The gang can’t just hate me, there MUST be a reason behind it!
There was a time when I really enjoyed being involved in the team. I felt valued, wanted, as if I belonged somewhere. I was so happy to have been given the opportunity to develop new skills. Now, I feel lost, lonely and too disheartened to carry on work with the group. My self-confidence and self-esteem have hit an all-time low.
My head is telling me I should quit the radio group. Mum says I should because “there are better things to do during a dinner hour”. My dad agrees, and said “You should, because you do not deserve to be treated like sh**”.
My heart argues that I should not quit. I should not give those people the satisfaction. I should not let them drive me out of the group. I must be strong and remain in control of my life.
If you were me, what would you do if this situation?
8 comments:
Hi Sweety: Hey for my part you can keep on huggin! There are lot's of people out there who need a hug, and even some of those people who are too uptight to hug, probably really need a hug but they have closed themselves off because they think it's not cool to hug. I have a brother who is developmentally disabled and he Hugs everyone he meets, one day we were in a situation with alot of professionals and my brother hugged this guy in a thousand dollar suit and as he walked away my brother shouted to the man I Love You and the man stopped in his tracks came back and looked as though he would cry and shook my brothers hand and hugged him again and said he could not remember the last time he was hugged and told he was loved. So Honey, you just keep on huggin and let all those non huggers stay in their little up tight worlds, Spread the love!!!! I don't know if you are a believer but the Word declares you can do everything but the greatest thing you can do is love. Have a great day and I am sending BIG HUGS and LOVE! jean
I so agree with the comment below don't let anybody treat you like that take your parents advice Am sending you hugs ((((((((())))))))) LOve Joan.
((((((((((HUGSTOYOu))))))))))))))))I aggree with the 2 comments,you should not give up on hugging,no matter,hope everything works out.Have a nice evening.
Being tactile is a tricky one Leigh. I'm happy to have real hugs from people I know well, and virtual ones from journalling friends. I do get irritated by people who make a joke and clap me on the shoulder with the punchline. My husband has a habit of giving a fatherly shove to younger men, which makes me squirm.
So there you are: my advice is to choose the `huggee' with discretion.
Ross and Jennie sound true friends; can you ask them to be frank,and tell you anything you've done to inspire such dislike? Maybe you're too enthusiastic to be considered cool? Or perhaps they don't have your maturity, and feel threatened. Just a couple of ideas, probably way adrift.
Hope things take an upward turn after these knocks.
Bunny x
I agree with all the previous comments in one way and another. Our family are naturally huggy and tactile but I was gutted when my son suddenly turned round a few months ago and said he was not like that any more, his fiancees family are close but not tactile like we are.......I soon let him know what I thought!!!!! Save the hugs etc for the really close people in your life........some people that are 'just' casual friends or acquaintances just can't handle hugs etc!!
I would take your parents advice Leigh ~ but then again you would be giving up on something you enjoy ~ this is a decision you will have to make ~ I am sure you will reach the right one ~ Ally
You should never be in the position were people treat you that way. I agree with the other comments and your parents.
Missie
I love getting hugs. Always makes me feel better.
Cindy
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