Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars

A friend sent me this earlier today and I think it's hilarious!  Before you read, I must stress these are not my personal views.  But I feel what follows may help men and women understand each other a little better.

Woman's English

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry

We need = I want

It's your desicion = The correct desicion should be obvious by now

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure... go ahead = I dont want you to.

I'm not upset = Of course im upset, you moron!

Your ... so manly = You need to shave and u sweat a lot

Your certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you think about???

Be romantic, turn the lights off =   I have Flabby thighs

Do you love me?? = I'm going to ask for something expensive

How much do you love me?? = I did sumthing today which ur really not going to like

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off ur shoes and find a good game on T.V.

Is my butt fat?? = Tell me im beautiful

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

Are you listening to me?? = Too late your dead

Men's English

I'm hungry = I'm hungry

I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy

I'm tired = I'm tired

Do you want to go to a movie?? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Can I take you out to dinner?? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Can I call you sometime?? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

May I have this dance?? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

Nice dress = Nice clevage

You look tense, Let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you

What's wrong?? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question

I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?

I love you = Let's have sex now

I love you too = Okay, I said it.... we'd better have sex now!

Let's talk = I'm trying to impress you by showing you that i am a deep person and then maybe you'ld like to have sex with me

Will you marry me?? = I want to make it illlegal for you to have sex with other guys

I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together =   I am gay.

Thanks to Ally for the above graphic.

Sorted!

 

I want to say a big thank you to Jan, who wrote an entry about me in her journal yesterday afternoon.  I had many more comments since, so I feel a lot happier.  Jan lives with her partner Maurice in the Fens.  She also has a pet dog named Scooby.  Jan is a very caring person, who is willing to help anyone if she can.  I am honoured to call you my online Aunty, sometimes my Granny. But you are my friend, a treasure to anyone you meet.

 

 

I received the Broadband Installation package on Monday.  My father tried to install the software, following the step-by-step guide on screen.  It came up saying “the modem had had been detected but it couldn’t pick up a connection”.  We tried again and again during the week and the same message came up on the screen. 

 

 

I spoke to a friend who told me I would have to put another phone socket in my bedroom.  As you can imagine mum was not best pleased at the thought of paying £200, so then we were going to send the package back to AOL.  I’m glad I didn’t!

 

I spoke to another mate, Ross about the problem.  He’d had a similar problem when he had first installed AOL Broadband, and he assured me if it was the same problem it would be easy to fix.

 

So he came over yesterday afternoon to help setup Broadband Silver.  We put the disc in the tray and followed each step.  Turns out my father had put the DSL Filter in the wrong place.  But now, thanks to Ross, the problem is solved and I’m on Broadband!

 

 

I can’t believe I’m on Broadband.  Everything is so much quicker to access now.  It’s strange when I’monline and the phone rings.  It stops mum from grumbling now because she can make and answer calls and I’m happy now because I can chat to friends and post a journal entry whenever I want.

 

 

Well done and thanks Ross for all your help yesterday.  Thank you for saving my skin LOL!  I think if mum had to tell me off again for using the internet pre-6pm, she would have strangled me, LOL!  So have a great summer mate, and I’ll see you soon!

 

 

Well everyone, what’s the weather like with you?  It’s sunny again here in Wales so dad has decided to cook us a barbeque in the back garden this evening.

 

 

Have a great weekend everyone!

 

 

A Chef In The Making

 

Britain sweltered yesterday on the hottest July day as temperatures soared to 36.3˚C (97.3˚F).  The scorching heat put holiday hotspots like Rome and Madrid in the shade just managing 34˚C (93.2˚F).  Thunderstorms have been forecast but there is no sign of rain yet.

 

 

I had a session with Margaret yesterday.  We decided it would be best to stay at home in the cool and cook some lunch.  We went to the local Co-op store to buy ingredients to make lasagna.  I am so chuffed because I did nearly all of it myself!  Margaret only had to open the tin of chopped tomatoes.  Also we had a jacket potato with cheese and a side order of garlic bread.  See mum, I CAN cook! lol!!

 

 

 

Mum and Margaret enjoyed the lunch. Mum said she looked forward to many more!  Margaret said “Jamie Oliver eat your heart out!”

 

 

For now readers, keep cool and get a good night's sleep because tomorrow I will share some exciting news!!

 

Summer's here!

HAPPY SUMMER!

Summer - the time for concerts in the park,

Vacations and swimming, and dancing 'til after dark;

Children with popsicles or watermelon sweet,

Playing at the beach and letting water cool their feet.

Parades with clowns and a marching band -

So much to see and do across the land,

Intense heat; the fury of the sun -

It doesn't seem to matter - everyone has fun.

Lightning, thunder, or gently-falling rain;

Going to the park to enjoy a baseball game,

Summer - the time we look forward to -

Happy summer to all and good times for you!

By Joan Adams-Burchell.

A Sizzling Summer

SIZZLING SUMMER

Not a leaf moves.

The fiery-orange sun ruthlessly emits intense, scorching heat.

Birds, beaks open, thirst in the stifling air.

Heat, seen in waves,

dizzying all those who dare to brave the burning outdoors.

Pets, at the mercy of their owners, dream of lazing indoors.

Everything is still ...

on this sizzling summer's day. 

By Joan Adams-Burchell. 

Stay Safe in the Summer Sun

Put Your Best Foot Forward

 

I would to say a big “Well done” to Jules and many others who took part in the Race for Life yesterday afternoon.  The fun run was organised to raise awareness and funding for Cancer Research U.K.  But the main aim was to have fun!  I bet it was hard work in yesterday’s scorching heat.  I could never have done it; I probably would have collapsed at the first hurdle!  But it’s rewarding to know the sponsorship money is going to a good cause.

 

  

 

Neil and Lisabrought Baby Tai down from Swindon to visit his grandparents for the first time.  He is six weeks old now.  His grandmother can’t believe how quickly six weeks has passed.  It seems only the other day I announced his birth!  His mum asked me if I wanted to hold him.  I was nervous about it with him being so tiny but I agreed.  Lisa took a picture and promised to send it on when the film was developed.  He fell asleep for about ten minutes holding onto my thumb.  Then he woke up smiling.

 

 

Tomorrow I have to travel up to North Wales for a splint fitting.  The appointment is at 1p.m.  I am pleased I will not have to get up so early as before.  It takes three hours to travel to the specialist hospital.  It is a long way but it is worth it.  The doctors are very thorough when they conduct tests to ensure the splints fit and are comfortable for me.  It will take a further two weeks before they are delivered by post.

 

Further updates will be posted when I get back for my appointment.

 

Have a great afternoon.

 

Three is the Magic Number

 

Hi everyone, I’m back!  Did you miss me?

 

I was picked up on Monday afternoon by Nan at 12:30p.m.  We had previously arranged to be picked up 13:30p.m.  She turned up in the middle of the street and couldn’t park the car.  So I rushed out with my coat, I completely forgot about my rucksack.  Luckily I had not travelled far so I was able to go back for it. 

 

 

It took us just under an hour to get to the caravan park in Porthcawl.  We decided to go for a walk around the park to pass the time.  We were not allowed to check-in until 16:00p.m so we watched other families play a game of ten-pin bowling.  I was amazed many young children were picking up the balls and dropping them on the ground.  There should have been somebody supervising the area because if a ball accidentally fell onto their toes, who would the parents blame?

 

 

The caravan we stayed in was nice and well equipped.  It included all modern appliances and two bathrooms, one of which was en-suite.  It was a large camp and many people were staying with young children.  Many of the caravans were privately owned.  Nan said she had been in better caravans and would never go on a holiday of this sort again as she ‘preferred to be waited on’.

 

 

After tea we decided to go and play a game of bingo in the clubhouse.  The park was badly sign-posted and we felt as if we were going round in circles.  We finally found our way there only to be denied entrance.  It turns out it was Over 18’s Cash bingo ~ and I wasn’t even going to play.  I was just going to sit there quietly while Nan played.  I found that very odd.  I told Nan she could play on her own but she didn't want to.  We had fun on the 2 pence machines instead.

 

 

On many caravan holidays in the past I have been able to play bingo but someone would call ‘House’ on my behalf.  So in the evenings we would watch T.V and play cards.  We would play endless games of Crazy Eights, which is one of my favourite card games.

 

They say things happen in threes...

 

I have lots more to say about my holiday and other things but I will save that for tomorrow.  I’m off now to enjoy the remainder of the scorching heat before it disappears.  Weathermen say that by Wednesday temperatures will rise to 32 degrees ~ hope you’ve all got your sun cream!

 

   

 

 Thanks to Lyn for this lovely cat siggy xx